She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
but you’ve outclassed them all!”… Prov 31:27-29 MSG
We asked a few mothers “How do you feel just after expressing yourself as a tough mother to your children”? Here are some honest, from the heart responses.
Every time I’ve shown myself as a tough mom, I feel extremely heavy but on the other side I know I’ve done it for my son’s wellbeing and he’ll be disciplined for good and his intentions will never go wrong. I learnt it from my mom the same way!….Gloria
There are times I second guess if I’m being too tough to cripple my son’s confidence. Other times I’m convinced that I’m doing it for the wellbeing of my son. There are times I do know I went overboard with my toughness and then I try to apologise to him immediately.
Over the last 6 years I have definitely learnt when to be tough and how much toughness is enough for him…. Blessina
The biggest challenge I face is the guilt trips I go on after I’ve had to discipline my child. But I’ve always felt the Lord speak to me and encourage me as soon as I have my quiet time with Him. So far, God has been helping me model how to use time well with my daughter. She watches me read the Bible, sew, paint, cook, and stay engaged rather than spending time on movies or screen time.
I do struggle with using my phone too much—for calls or texts—and I’m asking God to help me model less of that as well. We do a lot of things together, but the real challenge arises when stubbornness, anger, or self-will kicks in—especially in a 3-year-old—and I’m already tired from sleepless nights. We end up pulling each other’s hair, and that makes me feel so miserable, to the point of feeling like a failure at mothering. But God comes alongside us and helps us both pick ourselves up again. Each day is a journey, and without Christ, I would crumble.…Mercy
If I discipline in anger, without keeping their wellbeing in mind. If I do it, because what they are doing is making me look bad as a mother. Or when I focus only on the external act rather than the internal. Then, it usually results in them feeling broken and shattered and betrayed.
But when I discipline in love, because I genuinely care about their soul and the eternal implications of their choices, then even though they are broken and cry or rebel, there is restoration and growth in the relationship. Because they see that I have their best interests in mind.
After I have disciplined my children, in a way that is respectful of them, I feel like I’ve exercised my God given authority over their lives to point them to the ways that please God.…Amreetha
Being Kai’s mumma has opened my heart to the deep, beautiful reality of what it means to be someone’s safe place. It’s in the quiet moments—the way he looks for me in a crowd, the way he reaches for my hand without thinking—that I see how much trust he places in me. Even when I’m correcting him or guiding him through right and wrong, his love doesn’t falter. He doesn’t withdraw or question whether he’s still wanted. He leans in. He hugs tighter. He listens with open eyes and an open heart.
It’s in those moments that I realise the sanctity of this relationship. He doesn’t just love me—he chooses to love me. He accepts the boundaries I set, the lessons I teach, and the care I give, even when he doesn’t fully understand. And in all of it, I’ve come to see how this journey of motherhood is sanctifying. It is the holy ground where Jesus shapes me daily—teaching me to lay down self, to love more purely, and to walk in grace. Motherhood, in its raw and tender moments, is part of my sanctification—transforming me more into His likeness. And in that, I see a reflection of His love: how Jesus embraces us fully, even in our mess, and patiently walks with us through every part of the process.
Being Kai’s mumma reveals the sanctity of being his safe place. His trust and unconditional love reflect Jesus’ love for us. Motherhood is a sanctifying journey—shaping me through grace, surrender, and selfless love. In guiding Kai, I’m gently transformed into Christ’s likeness, embraced even in my own imperfections….Sheona
Growing up, I never wanted to be like my mum with too many rules and boundaries for my kids. While I was pregnant with my first one, I said to myself that I would be the cool mom, but reality struck. I had my first one and then the second, boundaries had to be laid, and all of a sudden I was like my mum. A mother I did not want to be. And then it dawned upon me the reason behind my mum’s tough love. I understand and often remind myself that structure builds character. I need to protect my kids from this dangerous world. Their safety is my priority, so I will have boundaries for them. Yes, my kids will be disappointed in me; my eldest daughter tells me how she will not be like me when she is a mother. She tells me the same exact words that I once told my mum. But one day, my children will understand the reasons behind my tough love, and they will be tough mamas too….Hannah
It is usually a mix of guilt, responsibility, and love. I would put it as emotional tug of war. After being tough on my kids the first question that pops in my head is if I was too harsh, if my actions have hurt him or has punctured his self-esteem especially when my child says I’m sooo sorry I shouldn’t have done that accompanied by waterworks. Then I feel a little less loved but glad my actions made sense to him. Then I justify my actions by saying if I don’t show him some tough love he will never understand or learn. I then try to show my love by comforting him but still holding the boundary….Evelyn
I think it’s a mix of emotions for me, an immediate guilt that I should have been more gentle or patient, simultaneously another voice telling me that I’m doing it for the right purpose of bringing up my child in the way of the Lord. It doesn’t feel balanced always, sometimes one emotion out runs the other….Jenny
Perhaps you as a mother resonate with these feelings
Here’s to all the STRONG MOMs with TOUGH LOVE
Keep it going, this clan is fast disappearing.
Don’t crumble under pressure, it’s only a matter of time when
“Your children will arise & call you blessed.“
